Learning to ease up!

I have to learn to ease up. It really bothered me when people would make, what I thought, were insensitive comments. I couldn't understand why they would say some of the things they would, but I realized that I am just so sensitive right now, that even the most innocent comments can seem cruel and harsh. I really do scrutinize every comment everyone makes. People don't stand a chance! I found that the only people that say the "right" things are those who are experiencing a similar type of grief.

I am planning a birthday/memorial celebration for Dominique this weekend. I started not to go throught with it because of the responses I received when I asked people to come. I am thankful that a good friend was looking ahead and encouraged me to go with my heart. I probably would have spent the day feeling sad and angry if I hadn't decided to do it. (Thanks M.W.!)

Anyway, my husband asked a harmless question and I caught myself getting ready to lash out at him and get angry. He made a statement that he would probably have to miss his basketball game after rechecking the time of the party vs. the game. At first I was angry that he would even think of doing something else on Dominique's birthday, but I had to realize, he doesn't feel the same way I do. I'm sure he loves his daughter dearly, but is not as emotionally attached as I am. This gathering is for me and my healing, not his. Dominique knows we love her whether we have the party or not.

Grieving can really take a toll on your marriage. I found myself getting angry at my spouse and resenting him for all kinds of things. I found that I've been angry at a lot of people! Satan has really tried to destroy me and my marriage, but I know that what satan meant for evil, God meant it unto good (Genesis 50:20). I'm taking back my marriage and all the joy satan thought he had.

I know that God has a plan for me and my life. I know that He knows best. Who can argue with that? I can do all things through Christ, who is my strength! (Philippians 4:13)

I realize now that all these people want to help me. They are not intentionally trying to hurt me! I know now that the only person who can give me exactly what I need is God! From now on, my goal is to ease up a bit and seek God when I am in need.